Not keeping up

Everyone I know has not been faithfully keeping up with their blog.

Truthfully, I am feeling it as well.

For me it is simply because I value my privacy and time I've spent with my friends and see no reason why I should disclosed it..or it could be that I am writing too much nowadays that the last thing I want to do is write about my feelings or thoughts in my personal hours.

So,that is all I have to say.

My first public work

I just found out that my first CSR report has been published and available online and hard copy.

Next, the UEM and if there's luck UMW is coming next.


I don't know if you want to read it since it's long but what the heck here's the link

Life comes at you fast

I always had a good time watching the ads by the insurance group with the tagline life comes at you fast.

Yet, I never thought there will be a day in my life that it happen that way.

I can't sleep at night thinking about the responsibilities. That my whole life would change. The pieces of my life no longer fits nicely in a puzzle. It's scattered and subject to change.

I absolutely have no idea what will happen and it terrify me. For once, I do not anticipate the future.

I guess this is what they meant when they say grow up.

First,my vandy bubble was broken and now even my safety secure lifestyle is altered.

Patience

I really think I don't understand the concept of patience when somebody is mistreating you.

Patience while waiting for others yes.

But why should I kept mum when others treat me like shit.

I really don't understand it at all and it bothers me so much.

What the hell is actually we're being patience for? I for one,do not see any reward when people mistreating me and I am being patience with them.

Gross National Happiness

I know I haven't been exactly faithful in keeping with my blog but life has been oscillating between interesting,okay and terrible.

Working has caused me to appreciate what little time I have with my friends and my family. I enjoy spending time with my friends and funny thing we actually enjoy nature far more than going to movies. To date, we have went picnic and mandi air terjun for 2-3 times.

I think I am like a nomad on the weekends and sometimes even on weekdays because I either sleep at Min,Dayah,Hikmah and Zaty place or my family home. It's refreshing to be with people who know you for who you are. There's no wall of pretension and I value that. After role playing day in and day out, an away time from those is really precious.

After a year of graduation, I think that happiness is the most elusive thing of all. How do you measure happiness? You get caught in the rat race. You go to office every single day and clock out at 6 if you can. You're numb and tired. In my current job, I write about how company measure their KPI's (Key Performance Index) and it make me think how do I measure my own?

And reading how Bhutan changed a country measure their performance from GDP to Gross National Happiness is inspiring.It may not seem practical, but the idea is great.

They said the pillars of a happy society involve the economy, culture, the environment and good governance. It breaks these into nine domains: psychological well-being, ecology, health, education, culture, living standards, time use, community vitality and good governance, each with its own weighted and unweighted G.N.H. index.

I think that if the government care about me, they too would do something like this. Because nowadays everyone is living in their own superficiality. I consume the things that I don't want because I feel a need to purchase to replace this emptiness in me. I buy things that I know that I don't need because it means at least I get something from working. That shouldn't be the way.

I am young still and so I'm still looking at the possible ways to overcome this. I think everyone at some point feel this way.

my ears just turn red

Okay, I'm just a wee bit piss of at this one guy.

I answered the phone with the usual customary, morning me from[insert company name], and who is this?

and that guy have the nerve to correct me" who is this please!"

well you know what fuck you.

I'm not some receptionist that need to scrape down the earth waiting for you and you don't have to correct me in that I'm so above you, you bastard.

and it's not like I have to say please every time when it is polite for YOU to introduce yourself when you're calling the person. Learn the basic etiquette of calling first, before you want to correct me. asshole.

ruin my stupid monday morning.

You are cordially invited

Anyone up for breakfast in dome on weekend?

I passed by dome today and saw the delectable picture of their breakfast. My stomach grumble and I instantly want to eat it but with a couple of friends.

So anyone up for it this weekend?

what a weekend

Well it was Valentine weekend and nothing eventful happened. Went back to Malacca and hate those annoying chinos couple walking around on Saturday night at Jonker street. well yes I am a vengeful women. Couldn't they just be fine sitting around in a restaurant having dinner than walk around the town holding those stupid teddy bear?

I mean you could just well bloody leave it in the car,can't you? why do you have sort of flaunting it in front of me? Makes me want to step on you while you're looking the other way.

Okay enough about me ranting about those people.

Spend the weekend not sleeping watching chic flick such as Toll gate girl and music & lyrics. both my favorite favorite.

love the end of toll gate girl, " can't your mom be my mom, your tok be my tok, and your sibling and mak su be my family?" .

Seriously if there was a guy who said that me, I would just go and said this,(a secret from post secret)

Jebat must die

Must we insist on that? I know that as a Malay we need to respect and obey our lord and kings.

But I must agree with Jebat. I have agreed with him since I read Hikayat Sejarah Melayu. He has the 21st century thinking when he lives in the 15th century.His most famous quotes was,

"Raja adil raja disembah, raja zalim raja disanggah" or the translation for it "A fair king is a king to obey, a cruel king is a king to fight against".

To me, his whole action personify what he believes. Yes he went amok, but on what reasons? He was a little emotional I give you that. I believe in justice,fair opinion and integrity. That's what I always hold on to.

The king is king, but he's still a human. To what extend do owe him full obeisance? Aren't God is the only one we owe perfect submission? And even with that, we are always reminded to ask questions and stood for what we believe for. Isn't that part of Islam ways?

Is it that bad to be like Jebat? How about his descendants feeling when we demonstrated saying "jangan jadi jebat". Are they supposed to be ashamed of their forefathers?

I think Jebat is a great man. One of the great figures in Malay history as far as I concern. and I don't give a damn for anyone that thinks otherwise.

It takes courage to go against the nation. Takes courage to stand for what you believe. Takes courage to say no.

Part II: Eyecandy

Yay! He's back! Saw him today. I was just thinking oh today I'm not going to look for him.I'm just going to resign to the fact he already switch his job. But just as I was thinking that, I saw him.

Good way to start my morning and my week.

Then bump into my olddddddddddddd primary school friend while waiting for the bus. That's so weird.Turn out she has seen me for the past month but wasn't sure it was me. Anyway I'm glad for both meeting.

Going to meet my old school buddies this weekend and have a small convent girls reunion. Hihihi can't wait to catch up with those girls.

nooooooooo

As usual I was looking through socialitelife and I saw the 2008 olympic diving gold medalist and I was thinking wow he got a hot body .Mind you I always think swimmer has the best body. Last time it was Ian Thorpe that I had crush on.

And of course stupid me went on to check wiki(every single nice thing I eat or like has been crushed by this website) and to my chagrin, he's GAY. yeah nice way to ruin my morning.

And I know that Robbie Williams once said not all great man is gay and not all great women is married but right now that feels absolutely like a lie.Okay jurai keep thinking positive,positive!

edit: Looking back at his face, yeah he do look like a gay man.with the sweet innocence sexy appeal kind of thing going on.should have realize he's too good to be straight

p/s: I forgot that today my MRSM KKB is 7 years old.

where is my eye candy

It's been 2 days since I saw him.He's such an eye candy.It's entertaining bumping into him everyday. Yeah I know it's only 2 days but hey! when you've practically see him everyday for a month you do wonder where has he gone to?

Is he being retrenched? forced vacation or switch job?

It's fun watching people. Anyway he's the reason I went to work earlier or else I couldn't care less. Hahaha.

I marvel at the greatness of Obama's speech. I'm incredibly grateful that I have lived in US before.

Here's his speech's transcript. He is indeed a great orator.

And just a reflection, that has been reflected by the Times, it's the education that brought people out from misery.I believe in this concept wholeheartedly. But the idea is still not fully comprehended by people.Here's the article that reflect on both Obama and Michelle's upbringing.

and know this,

"When you acquire knowledge, you acquire something no one could take away from you"

My favorite hero

My favorite hero is Jose Rizal and Leftnenan Adnan.Yes that's my favorite hero. I was fascinated with Rizal because he was a polyglot and yes both of them has this classic good looks that I love.Both stories does not end well.It does not end well when you're trying to protect your country. When I was in standard 3 I remember crying reading an article describing how Leftenan Adnan died.He was bayoneted to death and his body was left hanging for a few days. Jose Rizal was shot execution style by the Spanish in Philliphines.

Like I said, Jose Rizal is a polyglot and he can speak 23 languages I think and on his last night, he wrote an untitled poem, then fittingly titled by taking the first line of the poem "My final farewell" or "Mi Ultimo Adios". At this time, where Palestine are being attacked by the Israel and turmoil Malaysia facing,it is only fit that I post a few lines from his poem.

"
Farewell, beloved Country, treasured region of the sun,
Pearl of the sea of the Orient, our lost Eden!
To you eagerly I surrender this sad and gloomy life;
And were it brighter, fresher, more florid,
Even then I’d give it to you, for your sake alone.

My idolized country,sorrow of my sorrows,
Beloved Filipinas,hear my last goodbye,
There I leave you all, my parents, my loves.
I'll go where there are no slaves,hangmen nor oppressors,
Where faith doesn't kill,where the one who reigns is God,

Goodbye,dear parents,brother and sisters,fragments of my soul,
Childhood friends in the home now lost,
Give thanks that I rest from this wearisome day;
Goodbye,sweet foreigner, my friend, my joy;
Farewell,loved ones,to die is to rest."

And that I dedicate to the civilians in Palestine that died unjustly.

Personal views

I think it's a pity that I can't expressed freely my convictions, my preferred ideology for I might risking my employment if known. What a pity. I hope that someday preferably soon I have courage to admit freely in my blog, in my words even if quoted that I do believe in something and stand for it.

I don't know if others feels the same way. We're all afraid to be viewed in certain light. That we might look unfavorable.

I just want to stress the fact,even if I strongly subscribe to a certain views I am respectful or your opinion whether I might agree with you or not.

It's funny how insecure you get when you're older. You lost that brashness ,become so tactful that no wonder in a 10 years we're all facing middle age crisis.You're losing the sense of you are.You can't express your convictions. I guess that's why there is this quote,

"Everyone when they're young are a democrat, and when they're older they're all a conservative."

Statistical Possibilities

Okay, how would you feel if you are currently have 25% chances getting hired by a certain company? Isn't that terribly exciting and yet very scary?

I just realized that when I look through the email and considering the chances based on interview time per time each interview. Yeah I know I'm sort of crazy to do the statistical analysis on each of my interviews. But it's just a way of motivating myself to do better.

Anyway, this weekend I have a terribly busy schedule. I don't know if I can be punctual on all of it.

p/s: I didn't write anything for new year. or have resolutions or any thing like that. I'm not going to summarize my year either. Yes friends sorry for not updating as frequent as you might like...

I think pregnancy is excruciatingly painful. You have all these morning sickness, discomforts in sleep, either you eat everything or being picky and choosy.

And today, I saw my sister lying on the floor writhing with pain after consuming nasi lemak with sambal after days of vomiting and I thought,"OMG, I hope I don't get pregnant anytime in the future".

She went to the emergency room and I'm still waiting for the updates.

Humorous contact

Recently, a thing of suspicious nature has recently happened to my family which has caused to me contact a private investigator. It was signed by me, the suspicious in laws.

To my surprise when that person returned my email, it goes like this;

Dear client

My charges are RM2,000.00 being the initial down payment to commence work. After initial investigation and once I have information, I will report to you where you will need to make further payment for the gathering of evidence fee like taking photos, videos etc which is another RM2,000.00. All investigations under me are hired for 2 days. Anything beyond that is subject to negotiation of subsequent charges and the geographical and complexity of your case.

Hope this answer your question.

Thank you.

Regards

Mr. Private Eye

I just had a good time laughing when I see that he signed it with Mr Private Eye. So there you goes...and if you do need the service of PI, it is going to cost you 4000.

venting out

Okay, I think I'm one of those people who just love sharing gossips with my very close friends.It's fun but none of it I think were taken seriously. Gossips is only supposed to be taken at face value and it's just a way of us dishing our psychology 101 theories. Yes I know bitching is a bad thing. I feel bad whenever I do it.

So as we all know, Eid Adha is this weekend... and so since the last time my mom saw her grandchildren was in October when we sent off my brother to airport, my mom was inviting my SIL with her children to celebrate with us. Yeah we don't celebrate Eid Adha that much but my mom was simply using that reason to see her grandchildren. But my SIL has to be an absolute bitch about it when everytime my sister called her to ask does she want to come back,if so my dad could pick her up since she neither have a car nor can drive currently.

You know when somebody voice turn irritable right? They have this kind of dissatisfaction voice quality. She has been living in her uncle home for the past week. I feel sorry for my niece and nephews because they don't have the word "STABILITY" in their life at all. I think honestly, she just enjoy my brother money and spending it like water while my brother is slaving off over hot sun in Dubai. I mean my brother is soon 36. His birthday is the end of this month. How much longer can he work in that business.It's tough okay managing construction site.

I have this bad thought, that oh well maybe my brother should just divorce her but the problem is my brother in the first place has made the wrong choice.His type is like that,girl from kampung, don't work and will raise sort of traditional family environment. This is the type that most guys want. Let me tell you first hand. If you think it like that you are sorely wrong! She has insecurity and when people don't have exposure they have this very sort of closed minded view.Everything is threathening. So even if my brother divorce, it wouldn't solve a thing.

But yes I feel sorry for my neph and niece.Now my sisters,dad and I just get tired with all this drama. We have long decided to cut off our communication with her. Yes we know we're punishing the kids at the same time but till my brother come back there's nothing more we can do. We feel sorry for mommy when she wants so badly to see her grandchildren. But in my family, there's 2 block..one is the emotionless and couldn't care less which is us girls and our dad. My brother and my mom belong to the more sensitive block.

Okay, so I feel better now that I've let it out.Phewwwww.......

I want to do YOGA

It's ridiculous how the Malaysia government banned yoga which is a form of exercise and maybe used to be some kind of meditation that Hindu practice.Oh wait yeah they were practiced by Hindus monk and the west adopt it after seeing it actually do wonderful things to our mind and body by meditating early in the day..

Of course Islam too have this kind of meditation, which is actually concentrating your mind on a single thought for a period of time.It's called being khusyu *did I spell that right?* during praying.

I don't get all this law on banning YOGA! For god's sake that is the most silliest thing I have ever heard in my entire *insert expletives here* life.

Reasons yoga banned because there's some praying and words at the beginning that might sway your akidah and makes you Hindu,its worship the sun and a bunch of bs reason gives by the JAKIM.


Honestly, I hate any form of exercise and anyone can testify to that statement.I fall asleep at yoga. But this makes me want to sign up for a yoga class just to break the law. Practicing it doesn't make me any less Muslim I think, because even if I'm not the most religious Muslim out there I know it's not affecting my belief.

If you're going to outlaw yoga, you might just catch every single Muslim man and woman out there dancing the night away, not praying Friday prayer, drinking away in clubs, cohabiting. One more thing people who sing Indian song during Indian movie. I honestly, remember at the beginning of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, they were singing this kind of religious song the "Om Om jagedai". Forgive my poor Urdu speaking skill. Why don't they just round up all those Malay people who sing it while watching. Oh yeah why don't they say Shah Rukh Khan is an infidel because he definitely sing it! Yeah!Lack of respect to God. But nooo my stupid state leader even gave him a Datukship.

Yeap definitely a biase in executing this whole "I'm a better muslim than you are" regime.