when it will ends?

Have you heard?Today on Eid Adha right before Subuh Saddam Hussein was executed.Should I revel in joy because he was killed or should I be sad because he was too a muslim.A muslim which means my cousin my family and I shouldn't be happy if my cousin died.

Yes I agree what he did was wrong but did he deserve capital execution? In his last moment there wasn't a sense of privacy at all. At least that is what he deserved.He was executed right before subuh on Eid Adha. I feel furious because at least let him pray before he died and of all day you choose Eid Adha.Is this some kind of mocking? The holiest day in Islam and you choose that day? It's ironic. His body can't be claimed by family. What kind of compassion is this? You tell me the western are saving us from this barbaric man. Well I thought that once you win you gracefully treated this man but no you mocked this man till his last breath.

New Year

I wonder what will be install for me next year. 2006 is coming to end in a few days and 2007 is beginning. I will be 20 and that is a big deal. For a decade I was a teen and now I am tethering on brink of adult. I can no longer run from my responsibility by saying I am immature and wouldn't know any better.

The year in review I have to say the first 2 quarter of it was difficult. Not the most difficult in life since I have wonderful friend supporting me and for that I am grateful. I meet new friends and lost them . Some is lost by a quarrel,some by the distance that separates us.

Summer comes with hope in the air, a new beginning and an awkward end.I went back home for the summer and replenish myself with new memories of my family.I love going back to the comfort of home where I know mummy and daddy will feed,clothes and support me forever.

Fall and winter to me is refreshing. I try to do better in school and I am happy with the results. It is the most uneventful time in my life nonetheless the happiest time I am here.

Having said all that, I think because the school year in here split into two with one belong to the past year and the other half belong to the new year makes new year less important.

I haven't decided my new resolution yet. Maybe I'll lose some weight,save some money, be a better student in term of GPA. Well I have to make a proper list since I learn in MT that your objective must be quantified.

Well I am rambling my thoughts but that is exactly the point of blogs. To ramble and shamble your thoughts.

the things we want in life

Is it possible the things we want so badly we kept away from it? I think it is true....Well some of you might counter it by saying we should always go for what we want. Tell me isn't there a moment before you leap you look ahead what going on? There's a moment of coward before there's courage.

Sonic if you're reading this, this is a moment where I envy people the most. Sometimes I am envy of people who make decision on a whim. They aren't afraid of the consequence and no matter how stupid they are for not thinking ahead I applaud them for making such a brave decision but that doesn't mean I don't chastised them.

For me life is planning. I don't make decision on the spur of moment and my decision is made as late as possible. Everything in my life calculated and the reason I procrastinate is because I know I can afford it. For once in my life I wish to be free like a butterfly flying from a bud to a bud on bright shining spring. But I can't. That is why I love fall the most. Fall is the beginning and also the ending.Some might say spring is also the beginning and ending. True but we love to remember spring as beginning than ending. Fall even though the beginning we love to think as the ending. While summer and winter is in limbo.

I just received the most devastating news for this year and it blows my mind.Suddenly all the things that happened to me this year seems so insignificant. I am so afraid for what is coming ahead. I am so afraid that statistic will be true for that person. I wish all the happiness in the world for that person. Suddenly I feel very bad for not behaving properly for that person all these years.I wonder what I can do for her? That person is my sister and I adore her the most in my family.

what a beautiful love poem

I've been meaning to buy a poem book about love. Love cheesy as it may sounds is one thought that all of us are thinking. It only presented itself in different way but the one thread that keep us in sync is love. Can we avoid thinking about love? I don't think so. The day it happens may the day ice flows in our veins. I am afraid of mentioning the word love for I fear it would be stereotyping. What I meant to say open the scope the definition for the word love. Be it the attraction of two people, the affection between mother and child, the passion for knowledge, the devotion of a subject to his god. All kinds of love.

Back to the point while I was reading Yasmin Ahmad's blog I found this poem. The poem is written 500 years ago by a sufist name Hafiz.

"Even

After

All this time

The sun never says to the earth,

'You owe

Me.'

Look

What happens

With a love like that,

It lights the

Whole

Sky. "

The poem actually written not with people in mind but God. The compassion and selflessness is amazing.

The second poem is written by an anonymous kisaeng in the 16th and 17th century.Kisaeng is a form of geisha in Korea.The title is "So What Is This Love?"

So, what is this love?

Is it round or flat;

is it long or short enough to be

paced off or laid beside a ruler?

Some say it lasts as long as it lessens;

mine breaks to a sharp edge within me.


When I reading this poem, the first thing that comes to my mind is love is double edge sword. It can hurt you but it also heals you.

reminiscing about a friend

You might be wondering who this guy is. Well he is my friend in all sorts of way.It's complicated...

The one who really opens my eyes to the world, the one who introduce me to a more exciting life,who views world in such different way it stuns me now and then, the one who broods constantly and yet living life to the max although he don't notice it, the single person I wish when I was younger I want to be like him and to realize at the end it is only an illusion, the one who introduce me to a lot of people that is far worldly than I am and taken me as their friend,the one that I am happy for and constantly I concerned.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Well today is Christmas and instead of snow in Nashville we got rain but there's a chance of snow showers tomorrow....

Well I just got back from 4 days of road trip covering from Nashville-Chattanooga-Atlanta and Gatlinburg. It was pretty fun and almost didn't happen because there was a problem with the car rental but all was good and we start off our journey on Thursday morning by going to Chattanooga to go to ruby falls where there is 145 ft of water falls, Rock city where you can see 7 states from
a point and we went on cable train which claimed itself the steepest cable car in the whole world and boy it was steep.

Then we went down 260 feet into earth to see all the wonderful formation of stalactite and stalagmite and yeah the magnificent fall. But my favorite have to be the rock city. I hate all the goblins and fairy tale statue but I love love the scenery. It gives you this feeling you're on the edge,well you are but it's like you're standing on top of the world and can fall down anytime.I like walking in the maze.It's pretty fun jumping from one stone to another and there's lover's leap where it has been said that a man fall in love with a women from a different tribe. Their tribe was engaged in wars and so the man was executed by throwing him down the gorge. When his lover find out, of course she run and jump into the gorge herself and so it is called lover's leap.

To be honest,Atlanta is not a beautiful or engaging city but it has it charms. We went to CNN. I know my dad is going to love it because he loves news but hates CNN since it's view tends to be one sided. But it was exciting to see how the news is made. The building itself is magnificent with the highest freestanding escalator. It goes straight up from first floor to 8th floor. Yep it was scary but fun and I wonder if the escalator is stable or not.After that we went to coca cola world where you can see how coca cola is made and taste coke from 41 countries around the globe.

We met a guy that looks from Malaysia or somewhere from south east asia and plus he's super cute.Lemme post his picture. It's not that clear since I zoom from where I sit but hey! something is better than nothing right?


Then we went to aquarium since footos and lan love fish. After that we went to Botanical Garden. Nothing wrong with going to Botanical Garden except that in winter plants is dead and yeah we forgot that small unimportant fact that we lives in the northern hemisphere not in the equinox.So that was basically the stupidest mistake I ever make in planning a trip. We should have gone to High Museum of Art where we can see painting currently lent by Louvre Museum. But what can I said,after what been said and done I'm glad we went there.

christmas on the air

Merry Christmas to everyone. Yeah I don't celebrate it but no harm in wishing it I think. The best thing about living in a multicultural thing we all take part in everybody celebration. I do wonder why people in America is conscious whether we're wishing Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukah and not to hurt the sentiment they change it to Happy Holidays. That's a shame anyway. Where's the spirit of the holiday then?

I was reading this article about clutter. Truthfully I am not an organized person. I am filled with clutter. I personally like it. As long everything is arranged in a pile or stashed away I am fine. But that doesn't mean I am not clean. I like everything spotless but I don't mind my books not carefully put away. As long as I have space to work and I know where everything is I'm good

Well according to this article and ehem I quote Einstein on the subject of clutter " If a cluttered desk represent a cluttered mind then an empty desk represent what state of mind?" Hehehe. In fact 1 of every 12 couples that separated have problem with spouse that is messy. True story, my last room mate in her way like things to be perfect order and somehow I can't. So we don't get along well.Which is terrible thing but things happened. To this day I can accept other thing about her but her wanting everything to be perfectly order and pushing her expectation on other people is something I highly disagree. I just want to say that since I experience this sometimes being cluttered is good as long as you don't get in other people way and be clean.

making all the difference

Who would guess that having iodine in your salt will make your IQ higher by 10 or 20?I never knew that and I am glad that the salt I used for the past 19 years have iodine in it unlike a third of the world. Yes a third of the world! It is such a staggering number I barely believed it. To get iodine in the salt you just have to spray it. Such a simple process yet the a third of the world are missing it.

I seriously never knew that having non-iodinized salt can effect retardation in infant.Just like having fluoride in water help in maintaining health. I am glad that I learn the importance of iodine and fluorine in biology and whether it is dangerous or not in chemistry. Yes iodine and fluorine is dangerous if not handled properly but when it is in your food in appropriate quantity it helps you a LOT!Plus we all know that any element in high concentration is going to kill anyone but not having it at all is going to defect you.

For all that matters I am glad that country like Kazakhstan is taking appropriate measurement in preventing retardation by making it mandatory for using iodized salt. I am glad that UNICEF is involved in this. I am glad that for once I read a happy news that more and more kids are having good nutritions. The world is too bleak right now that I avoid reading world news section.

You can read the full article of it here

handwriting analysis

Well exams are over and I did well. I'm happy and I was bored and I found this websiteIt's for handwriting analysis and when I did it it is so true to every bit of it. Maybe you'll like to try it?



******* The Analysis Starts Here *******


For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Juraiza has left some white space on the left side of the paper. Juraiza fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion moving the entire writing rightward as she moves down the page. If this is true, then Juraiza has a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Juraiza is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future. Juraiza is leaving the past behind and moving on to what she perceives as an exciting and enticing future.

Well from my opinion this is true since I always been optimistic through out my entire life. I believe that looking at the big picture is always important.Whatever sorts of arguments that I have with other person I learn to forget about it and think that there is something more important and entirely more exciting than to dwell.





Juraiza has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

Hehe people knew me well know I am imaginative to the point of ridiculousness and I do trust people even though my parents kept reminding me not to believe people entirely.Maybe I am naive but I don't know.Trust to me is very important because I think that if I can't trust you to be my friend then you can't be close to me.


Juraiza will take action on her thoughts. She is positive that her views are correct for her. She has the ability to seem as if she is positively correct when answering a question, even if she does not have the slightest idea of the answer. Juraiza displays a self-confidence that makes everyone else sure she is correct. She is positive of her own views, but not necessarily stubborn.

What a delightful way to say that I can convince people easily. I have been known to be very self assure in my answer. And one key word here "My views are correct for me."Yep I don't apply my view towards other people.


Juraiza is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

I am sarcastic. I admit that.




Juraiza is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Juraiza basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.

Let's just say this I take calculated risk. and I do believe that everything I set my mind to I can do it.



Because Juraiza has zigzag'ed shaped 'm' and 'n' hump, Juraiza is an analytical thinker. Her mind sifts and examines facts. She interprets all facts by separating them, breaking them down, and organizing them from a critical point of view. This pattern of clarifying facts contributes to her strong reasoning ability. Juraiza's mind is constantly analyzing all situations that she encounters.

Definitely true.Sonic can vouch for this.




Juraiza has an over-awareness of self. She often feels self-conscious. She fears ridicule, therefore she is careful not to place herself in a position to receive any ridicule. She wonders what people will think if she acts in a certain manner. When encountering a new group of people, Juraiza may stay on the sidelines until she has the people categorized, or she may behave in a "positive attention getting" manner to assure people think good thoughts about her from the start. In the sales profession, this self-consciousness is called "call reluctance". They take the word "no" as a personal criticism. Therefore, there is an internal struggle when performing this type of work. Although this person may be a great salesperson, she still feels insecurity. She will perform better if someone else is with her because the fear of ridicule from her peers is far greater than the fear of ridicule from her clients. Many times this type of person becomes a sales trainer, because when she is training, she doesn't have to put herself in a position of being told "no" as often as the salesmen do.

I already wrote about this in my blog. I am a people pleaser and always trying to make myself presentable



Juraiza is not facing something going on in her life today. She is deceiving herself about it. Often, Juraiza's opinion of herself is different than those around her. This trait gives Juraiza the ability to deny anything that does not agree with her "truth." This trait is not always something negative. It is only a defense mechanism allowing Juraiza not to face some reality in her life at this time.


No comment.


Juraiza is moderately outgoing. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put herself into the other person's shoes. Juraiza will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes she will be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Juraiza an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't sway too far one way or the other. When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Juraiza is an expressive person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story. Juraiza is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

I like this part the most because it is what I am. I am neither an extrovert or introvert.The description after all fit a libran which I am.



People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Juraiza doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.


I like to be friends with whom I like and not entirely too friendly.

final is over

Well technically no since I have to finish schenelle final first but that is a take home so it will be fine

I was rewatching 1 litre of tears and yeah I did cried again. Damn that story is sedih.

One of the quotes from kifuji aya was " Why the disease choose me? I cannot carry it if the reason is fate"

People facing difficulties in life matured immensely and I wonder who I am who was born healthy in this life till now can compare to 6 years old facing death right now. I could not face them neither look them in their eyes because I know I am inadequate in life experience. Who can bravely admit that death is awaiting them. Who can say I will run harder today because tomorrow I can't run anymore?

fairly interesting opinion

Read the article. Amusing observation and nonetheless true of course. The fascination we had with the English.

Talking the Yanks Under the Table

p/s: did I mentioned that I'm having my final? I already took chinese just now and I am completely going to miss chinese class mate

and yeah I should write something in chinese character just as a tribute.

one of the reason

I read it in one of the bulletin post in friendster. Reason why beautiful women wore head scarves.I like one of the reason which I find so true.

Beautiful woman wear head scarves because only good men will like them.

Think about it...

just something i read

I read this quote somewhere. I won't say the source."Life is like a shit sandwich.The more bread you have the less shit you'll have"

First glance I agree but then I notice that is life comparable to shit? It's so negative...Would you rather not eating that sandwich and rather die? I think alive is definitely better than being dead. Oh and I just found out that the word love and live in Korean is the same.I just thought it is so deep for the word live and love is the same. To live is to love.Hehehehe. Back to the quote. The more bread you have the less shit you'll eat. True. But bread is bland right? Assuming we're talking about just pure wheat bread. It taste bland right? Often people will eat bread with something else to make the taste better. So you rather live boringly,blandly and uninteresting live. Well haven't you heard that a boring person kills other person?There's one movie that I've seen that because he live in such a boring state that one day he wakes up he find out that he doesn't exist. People around him doesn't remember or know him. So as time goes his identity disintegrate and thus he doesn't exit anymore.

So let us live all the way we could to the maximum,face all the obstacle and love*hehehe*

annoyed

I am definitely annoyed by somebody in particular. He's not discreet at all and damn it pissed me off so much.

Straying away from that point here's my favorite song at the moment.

my desktop

I heart my desktop. The title of the painting is "Let me sulk"

marriage

I am perplexed by western view of marriage.Marriage as defined is union between a man and woman and is legally sanction by the government.The gay couple fight for their rights of getting married.If you get married in Asia it is a big deal because people don't co-hab or live together no matter how old are you.So marriage is a big deal. But in the western country you co-hab and behave like husband and wife without even getting married.So is a piece of paper is really going to make that big difference except of course when both of you go separate ways.Of course the dissolution of marriage is called divorce and dissolution of a relationship is breaking up. Nowadays a couple denied their rights of getting married because gay couple are denied the rights.If you have the rights to something you better enjoy it before it taken away.

In Malaysia there is meritocracy.Meritocracy is a system of government or other organization based on demonstrated ability (merit) and talent rather than by wealth, family connections (nepotism), class privilege, cronyism or other historical determinants of social position and political power. But am I as a Malay people are going to deny my rights to go to boarding school,received scholarship just because I don't agree that the Chinese don't have these rights too? Personally I like Chinese,Indian and Malay have the same competitiveness chances. However I realized that many Malay are not ready yet.Till then I hope I can do something about it to make them realized world is flat and the government can't protect the Malay no longer.

The couple that refuse to get marry is because the feel why should they get marry when there are couple who are refuse the same privilege.Whenever people assumed that they are couple they tell them "Oh no we are not husband and wife" Really if you live together and act like you are is the people perception is that important? I think it is silly for them to tell people otherwise since it doesn't really matter.The ideals that they have is not logic to me.To me they are they are the extreme case utilitarian.They deny their right to be happy for other people to be happy. As for me when a human is denying the right for them to be happy,it will get to how far are they going to take it? And is the right to denying ourselves happiness belong to us? As I listened from a series. The balance of our life is at 0.It swayed to the left and right sometimes.We go through misery to be happy.We are in the darkest hour before there is light. The scale cannot be unbalance for then our live will be unfulfilled.We all need to pay our dues.

You can read the article about people who say No to I do at here