The things that you own

I know there's a saying that the thing that you own end up owning you. It's true.Everything that I own or collect comes from a lot of consideration and I lovingly buy them. Every single piece of my clothing,my handbag and my shoes and especially the stuff that I collected during my travel means a lot to me.

It saddens me to great extend that the things that I collect or own is being mistreated.One of my fridge magnet broke today and nobody in my family admitted to it. It cannot be replaced. I don't mind people borrowing my stuff as long as you respected it.My stupid nephew break the arm of my nutcracker and I feel like breaking his arm. I love my nephew but I love my nutcracker even more. I know it sound bad but that is what I'm feeling.I'm just sick of seeing my stuff being treated like this.

Is this the fate of everything that I own? I'm sorry that I bought them now because people don't appreciate their values. I feel like taking all of them back and keep in my boxes where they will be safer

Selamat hari raya

I was promising myself that I am gong to update the blog after raya,well here it is..

Surprisingly after waiting for 4 years to celebrate raya with my family and having all those traditional expectations...it was a flat raya. I think the anticipation of raya in the states was greater and the raya itself was meaningful.

Wake up in the morning by takbir and lies down listening to it thinking,is this it? My brother and his family celebrated raya in Johor considering his MIL is no longer alive and so to accompany his FIL he spent the raya there.My newlywed sister also was in Penang with her hubby leaving just me and my elder sister..

So all of us decided to go back to Singapore after going to my nenek house. It only takes 2 hrs ++ to go to Singapore but the traffic in Tambak Johor was simply a bitch. We were stuck there for 2 hours.

The overwhelming feeling of my cousing who suddenly growed up and dressing 20 years older throw me off balance. With the new minted cucu sedara. Yes I am already a nenek level in my mother side just put me in my place that after 4 years things do change.You thought things stay relatively the same but nooo,staying in US is like staying in a time warped kind of thing.

Suddenly my cousin is like a machine baby factory that keep on churning babies. Their husband cheating on them and bla2. And you don't even have to be ugly for your husband to cheat on you.It makes me goes is there any reliable men out there?It seems the new disease that infected Malays men is the impossiblities to be loyal.I leave that another time for discussion though.

The first raya we went home around 3am after late supper.Very usual.I don't manage to capture people sitting behind truck in baju raya this time.It seems people are getting richer and can afford cars on mass basis nowadays :(. No longer a familiar sight.

Second day was slow, we went to my grandfather,grandmother and mak long graves for a visit. It was quite somber. I never met my grandfather and looking at his graves I wondered do we share traits or relationship unknowing to me. After that more cousins home to visit until late at night and we took supper near Esplanade and seeing the new track of F1 races.

Third day was spend solely on shopping in all my favorite places. Bargain time I supposed. And that was how my raya this time.I hope next time would be better but I doubt it.It would be like this for the next 4 years or so considering we're all leaving Malaysia again soon.

just a thought

You know with all the things Malaysia has currently going through I can't help it but follow through it. During this time, I saw a theater ad about the great Tun Dr Ismail. It just made me googled about him and found out what a great person he is and if its possible I am going to performance soon and I'm booking definitely his biography book. And a quote wiki provided just touch me very much

" Why did we fight for Merdeka? So that the different races can be divided? That can't be the way, right? That can't be why all these great Malay and Umno leaders fought for this ... Something is wrong... I hope the new discussions will start. Why are we building Malaysia? What Malaysia are we building? What kind of symbol is Malaysia supposed to be?"


It saddens me to think that after 51 years of Merdeka, we're still struggling through the same issues back in '69. I don't want people to call me a bigot.Malay and Chinese have so much suspicion towards each other that I feel perplexed by it. I never honestly feel that way about other races. You have what you earn and unfortunately that doesn't work in Malaysia. I wish that if someday I have children, then I am promising you that kid will in fully in multi cultural lives with no racism in their bone and be totally upheld in morale and full of conscience.

My favorite time of the day

I love watching rain, especially when it's in the afternoon. I can just sit on my desk facing the window and just look at the rain droplets for hours. Today I watched a Thai movie, called Change. It's a fantastic movie. Just the type that I like. Funny,soothing, melodious and have a great music composition. At the end of the movie, there is a song with a lyrics that I really like


Be patience when it's raining,
At least it makes us see the difference,
When the rain is gone,the sky is bright and make us realize,
How precious is the day we've been waiting for....

Isn't that just lovely...?

Hmmmmm

I am confused which one to pick and I only have less than 24 hours to decide....you see I got 5 different options to pick

1. P.A to HR director
2. Supply Chain exec
3.Staffing Exec
4. R&D engineer
5. Hoping I will be successful in the Schlumberger interview?

Yes so which one will I pick?I'll update all of you soon...and please wish me luck on the Schlumberger thing

accident!

For the first time in my life I actually experienced an accident and no I was not the behind the wheels,it was my dad. It was so fortunate that the boy was not injured or got any scratch, just a little bit bruised.

But it was shocking to see the motor rolled twice and hit on top of the boy once.It was such a slow motion movie watching it happened. My niece was sitting with me. My dad rushed out.We just picked up my sister from her workplace. I was wearing my cutoff jeans and simple tshirt, thinking omg should I just rush? but my concern overcame my sense of fashion and in the middle of the road at 5ish pm I helped the boy. It was so relieving not to see any blood.

Just to be cautious, we bring the boy to hospital twice to do an x-ray and send his bike to the shop.I have to say my sister and I was really bossy.We took over the whole incident and decided what next to do. When we went to the first clinic, I was going into the patient waiting room checking on the boy and dressed as I am, I feel so inadequate meeting a family with the woman wearing jilbab. Embarassing indeed.*Lesson: always wear something good!*The clinic doesn't have x-ray so we decided to go home first,my dad want to pray solat asar.

My elder sister was backed from Muadzam and with my other sister, she send the boy to the general hospital to do x-ray. It was funny really, we were waiting for so long and the doctor look at him and said oh he's fine and just give him the general medicine with things to reduced bruising and that's sort of thing.

He was on his way to go back to Merlimau, which is quite far away. My brother in law and I tagged along sending him back to his home.We were all quite afraid actually to send him back thinking omg what if his parents scream and lunge at us? I mean this is Malaccan people okay? We are not known for being polite and reserved! So actually things goes really well. We were laughing and chatting all the way and also make jokes and talk really stupid stuff.

On his way home we passed the Medan Ikan Bakar and we invite him,hey since we're on the way should we stopped at eat? But the boy get really embarrassed and so we didn't eat.When we get to his home, his mom mistaken us for perhaps his gf.But then my BIL has to break the fantasy by saying " No, nie orang yg langgar dier" or in malacca dialect" Tak,nie orang yg langgau dier".His mom expect it was one of us, and again we said" Tak, ayah kiteroang!".But really the boy was really sweet and polite and his mom as well! We told him to come by to our home anytime since now we're all bonded after spending 5 hours together.

I have to add this one little thing, the boy was extremely cute! hahaha and my sisters all become so gatal.isk isk!Anyway accident is a bad things and should be avoided. Lucky in our case we have gain a friend.

What gets you into trouble?

By not being honest to yourself...

I think the things I hate the most staying at home is that there is nobody to turn and talk to. I miss my friends very much and even if we meet it is only at surface...and that saddens me to great extent because you can't catch up for only a few hours and sometimes I do want to talk more but it's uncomfortable to talk about it...

feeling blues again

I am feeling melancholic again...and I don't know what should I do...There's nothing to stare at...

Yet again I have promised myself to change.I will lay out the plan for my life tomorrow...

Please God,let me have a little bit of happiness and hope.

IQ,EQ, what the hell

I hate IQ test. Why do they give it out on interviews.Blegh sick..I have another IQ test scheduled next Friday. I want to work for that company actually so bad.Lots of travelling which I loveee to do.Aaah wish me luck.

no title for this

Well, my sister's wedding is just over. I feel a little bit sad because it could never be the same ever. You know how when somebody married, somethings change. I hate weddings. Sure I love my niece and nephews but the emptiness when my brother and sister get married is unchangeable.

I still remember the night my brother called my mom saying he wants to get married. I sat down at the chair for a long long time thinking oh wow, I knew this was coming but I never thought it's going to this way. Then my first sister and when she separated I secretly feel happy because she's coming back.I'm happy for my second sister but I am just a little bit sad and lonely.

Lots of people I know is planning their wedding and its making me feel left off. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I just couldn't help it. The distance between my friends is also getting bigger. I miss spending my time with them.which makes all this worse!

I thinks once I start working I might write something happier.It's depressing to write all this emo stuff which is why I stop writing blog.

I am going to miss my driving buddy because they're all going back to college this week.Aaaah need to find new friends!

Yes it happens again

I have choose not to update my blogs for various reasons.One I am lazy, second there is basically nothing worth mentioning.

For quick updates, my sister is getting married this Sunday. Therefore, I am busy. I had KKB reunion a week ago. I getting my license.

But today I am compelled. Have you heard the news? They're accusing Anwar again in sodomizing. Yes talk about being so uncreative. Hello? It might work 11 years ago where people are stupid and even the word gays or homo is being whispered. Now? Are they frankly stupid? I can't believe all these cronies in government stoop again so low.They're almost like pig.Ooops they're lower than pigs. Pigs are even more honorable.

You know I was walking in a shopping mall recently in Melaka , and you know what I saw? A lesbian couple kissing each other. Yeap I'm sure this quite a norm sight in Malaysia nowadays. So now that they're accusing Anwar have they ever thought that before accusing and capturing that guy they should actually catch all those Malays homos. The operative word is Malay because I frankly don't give a damn if its Chinese,Indian or White because their religion is not Islam.

So yes if there's Reformasi, I will join it. Why not? I am old enough to know what's right and wrong. Come let's get this country clean. I'm sick of it.Old politics can go to hell.

Twinkle twinkle little star

Ah tonight is the last night in united states. Nad,oya and awatip is sleeping over at my place tonight.It's nice for them to accompany us on the last night.

Let's see what happens tomorrow.I hope I shall not cry too much because I'll be wearing make up.Therefore,can't ruin it.

On a side note, my cousin Rin who is younger than me by a few years is already married yesterday! OMFG. I mean I definitely remember her as always being quiet and of course younger than me lah. Now that I heard she's married suddenly there this rush like oh yes I have to get married as well but the problem is I don't have any good potential candidate at all. I guess I am so much into enjoying my bachelorette life that I forgot can't live like that for my whole life. Well anyway, goodnight people and enjoy my second most favorite painting.

A birthday and a farewell

Today Raihan is going back earlier than most of us. It's not fair she's going back early because now I am writing a post specially for her.

Raihan is quite an eccentric person. Always with random habits that sometimes makes people exasperated when dealing with her. Sure that I do sometimes bitch about her and always wonder lah why guys are always fascinated by her. But, above all she was my group partner for 1 year and a half. Together for 4 years doing homework and project and all that. I love her very dearly. I will miss you very much and in fact I am already missing you. It was fun yesterday watching the soccer practice with you and running around doing errand for Sonic birthday.Glad that I was able to spend a little bit of time* tear in the eyes* with you.

The second part of the post, is dedicated to my lovely friend,Sonic. It is her birthday today.Yippee she's 22 this year. We've been through rough and easy times together. Could always count on her on being a wonderful confidante. It was the second time I was able to celebrate her birthday since you know lah I always went home in May. I hope yesterday celebration was good enough. So there you go, a birthday and a farewell.All in the same day.

of little bits

dancing is consuming time. very tired.lucky that I don't play soccer as well.or else I am going to end up with bruise and not enough sleep.

people are privatizing blog. oh well. I don't need to do that because then blogging lose its point and I better off writing my diary only.

Moving and strawberry picking

Basically, my batch is known for not waking up before lunch. In fact it is impossible for us to do so.I,myself sleep for 14 hours averagely on holidays and weekends. On monday we all wake up super early like at 8 to ship our stuff.

The guys had way too much stuff, but again they're the one who's loading everything so I have no complaint whatsoever. Plus, it was fun being with them. While waiting for the stuff to be done loading we were in the parking lot having fun. Aus,Joe,Sofi and Lan was on the trolley like having race mcm orang kurang upaya. It was such a funny sight and they didn't realized there were police at the end of the parking lot and they were racing like mad!

I too was guilty of charged along with Raihan joining with the fun. I guess I had too much excitement and my asthma got really bad and I couldn't join them for lunch after that :(

The next day again , we achieved the super impossible feat.Waking up early so we can go strawberry picking at 9 am. My mom was against me going strawberry picking because it could be strenuous.Worry not mom! I was ready with inhaler just in case something goes wrong.

I have to say lah,for such a short driving, 15-30 minutes to the farm we were such a riot. There were like 6 cars,all seniors. The waiting process was longer than the drive and we were like planning mcm road trip.So melampau.

The strawberry farm itself was a disappointment. I thought the strawberries should be more luscious and a lot. But nooo, the strawberries were all distorted and only a little.I had the hardest time filling up my basket. Yes this is the cue, I shouldn't dream jadi farmers!

On the other hand the pictures turn out great which I love it.The guys was also so semangat joining in. Most of us coincidentally wore pink that day.Must be because we all want to match with strawberries.

Ah yes...commencement

After a long dilly dallying, posting pictures about commencement and all the occasions that happened.We had the most wonderful, touching and very enjoyable farewell party from our lovely sophomores. We felt most undeserving from having such treatment because we think that we haven't been that very good of senior towards you guys. To think you guys go to such great lengths by having special card personally delivered to each of us, treating us like stars on that night and gived great tokens. The consideration of giving us things that we like such as free bubble tea and vandy tshirt is much appreciated.

The next day was the most awaited day of all our hard work 4 years. But it's funny that thinking that after waiting for it, it was such a sweet and short ceremony.It befits us I guess.It wasn't formal or cumbersome. We cheered and congratulated each other.While waiting for the degree to be awarded everything kind of flash back from the first moment till now.

I was sorry my family couldn't be here.But it's all good. There's us.

In each occasions, we all cried except the commencement itself.The graduation dinner, we all karaokes to the Vitamic C song and cried.As a batch we never paraded ourselves of being close and have that spirit of batch.We all do our own stuff and on a rare occasion we get together. But this past week, we were so close. Going to strawberry picking,lunch together, and even watch movie in Joe's home. I am definitely going to miss things like this.

Oh how far have we come along.

out of breath

Okay, I know I have this condition since I was a baby but heck I haven't had asthma for the past year which makes me forget for a moment how annoying it could be.

It turns you into practically hopeless being,you absolutely can't do anything because at the slightest work you just run out of breath and need to sit down. Even sleeping is a hassle because you can't breathe in a certain position.

It's definitely one of things that I certainly don't wish on people.I wish my kids won't inherit this gene but it is highly unlikely because every single of my family have it.

Aaaa definitely annoying! Okay I should and go buy my inhaler since I just realized it is already expired.

Longing for these days

I know I should be sleeping because I am going to pick up my commencement regalia tomorrow.But heck, my favorite current thing to do right now is reading food blogs.I spend hours and hours going through each single post.I know it's crazy right?

But I come to reading Rasa Malaysia and she posted an article on times on food and suddenly there this picture. Do you know what it is? It's basically like yong tau foo except we dip it in really hot sauce. *Sometimes kan I do wonder why do Malaysian people eat hot boiling stuff when it is already freaking hot in Malaysia*

Oh I missed my convent days,where my girls and I rushed to the canteen just so we could be the first one dipping. We stand there basically for almost the whole recess,chatting away with how boring is the class and what we're doing after school. Giddily talking about boys and being snotty with each other.

And after school if we have to stay back, we went to Baba and Nyonya for food or this cafe by the Sungai Melaka,idly eating its cucumber egg sandwich enjoying the boats that go in and out of the port.

Yes what a good time being convent girls. I am definitely sending my girls to convent!If my husband is against single sex education,well too bad! I come from a long line of believer in single sex conventry education.

which one?

I have been following the democratic nomination diligently.Until to this very last moment it is still unclear who will won. Republican candidate is so boring.Old white guy who is from military background.blegh..Haven't they figured out yet that people from that background doesn't work anymore. Look at Bush.

White-Checked
Old- Checked
Military(He served in Vietnam) -Checked

Results- Caused two wars that could be avoided*Iraq- False report,no nuclear weapon in sight*,Afghanistan-yeah who knows this bin Laden guy exists or not.Multiply US debts to trillions.Caused US to be the laughing stock of every single nation in the world.

Darn it!Bush did a damn good job.

Oh well now, the US have a chance to redeem themselves. If they choose the white guy again, it's true then...white people never change..

If I could vote, I'll choose Hillary Clinton.Why? Because from the first moment I read her biography she totally earns my respect.

Obama sure lah whisper the wind of change being the first black and all that....but I still think Clinton deserve it a little bit more...

They both exceptionally good candidates. In Malaysia politic it has been such a loooooong time since anyway with such charisma appear in the arena.Oh well I haven't been going to speeches or read text speeches so I could be wrong.

I am patiently waiting for another round of voting and by that time I could vote. We'll see how far the changes the opposition has done so far.

Can't it be simpler?

Sometimes I do wish I live in a cotton candy world,where everything is fluffy and white.

People tap on their hat while walking, and I'm wearing a fluffy gown like Alice in Wonderland.

I wish there are no misunderstanding,there are no pains and cries.

Unfortunately,I don't live on that world. I accept that.Sometimes I do wistfully thinking about it.

Life can't all be cherry all the time.