If there's one thing I dislike the most must be confrontation. I don't like telling people what's wrong or right. They have brain and they certainly put a good use to it. Whenever I tell people something it's because I already weighed pro and cons and think the best way to deliver it.

Recently, I was being honest to B and however this A person does not agree with the way I deliver it. I apologized to A but I told A this is the way I do it and I am sorry if you don't agree with it. If you don't agree with me then you could do it in your own way. And this A person said back to me." since you're already said it to B then it makes no sense for me to say it again" I was angry at A. You reprimanded me on the way I spoke to B but you don't have the guts to say it yourself. Then who are you to say the way I do things is wrong when you yourself has no courage to say it yourself.

All I wanted to do is get my message across. I think I did even if B person deny what he does. I don't expect B person to admit it. When we did something wrong it isn't unusual for us to deny but then silently we admit our own fault and promised to be a better person. I am no authority officer and I don't like to enforce rule on other person. I don't like to have my friends be treated like a kid or be embarrassed. It is not my style.

All I am saying is whatever I said I meant it. If I did say something on whatever it's because it was really imminent for me to say. I am direct and you may consider it is distasteful but when I am being honest to a person it's because I think it's important not to hide behind subtlety and because I treasure that person. If I don't give a damn I wouldn't bother to tell a person anything.

I don't leash my anger that often. But when I did it's because you have over step that boundary. I find it hard to forgive people. That is my weakness. Forgiveness to me is very expensive.The anger subside over time but the grudge doesn't.It doesn't go away with time.

Love in the Time of Dementia

I just read an article in times about former Justice Sandra DaY O'Connor. Her husband who is suffering from Alzheimer's disease is madly in love with someone else and she's happy for him. She said she feels so relief to see her husband of 55 years is so content. She even comes to visit the couple while they hold hand on the swing.

Yes obviously not a lot of us are generous with our love or affection.But I guess when the one you love no longer remembers who you are and it is futile to force them to remember you, then it's better to let them go.Rather than make yourself suffering from lack of affection and frustrating your spouse because he fail to remember you.

Young love is about wanting to be happy and Old love is wanting someone else to be happy.

Love to me is a very selfish kind of thing.You have to sacrifice and let go and let the people you like be happy before you can be happy kinda thing.

I rather like one of the researcher thoughts on it.

“You understand that the bad times pass, and you understand that the good times pass,”

Hope we all go through turbulent and peaceful time with that thoughts in our mind.

Up up and away

The first time I watched the movies was when I was around 9 years old in my Busu's house in Singapore. We were still in laser disk era at that time. I remembered crying after I watched it.

I think mostly everyone has seen it at least once.I've seen 3 times at least I think and every time at the scene where Gump is talking at Jenny's grave my eyes becomes a little misty.

According to Gump our life is a series of incidents and fate that bind us together.He said he didn't know any better but he sure feels like that.

I definitely recommend it to anyone who have 3 hours on their hand. It is definitely one of the best movie I have seen.

yellownes

I am so proud of Malaysian people! way to go guys! speak for your rights.

We are not living better than we were 10 years ago. Our rights are squelched. Government officials are corrupted. It's time.





oops I forget to tell you guys, I am a "liberal"

what kind of car i want

Yeah I know before dreaming buying a car, I should get a license. I know..I will sooon...*I've been saying that so many times already*

But I have been thinking..I think I like to get Toyota Prius. It's so nice and plus it is easy on your pocket although not when you buy it.It's a long term investment. The miles are great! 45 mpg.I am definitely waiting for the 2009 version when it upgraded its battery.

I should definitely do some present worth or annual analysis to see is it worthwhile but rather than spending my money on proton car when you know they are ripping you off and yes people said it's cheap but hello? If you're paying 45-60K for a car and if you add a little bit you have this great car that's great for long term. So why not spend a little bit on something that's better?

I am most definitely will drive a cheap junk for the first year when I work just to save my down payment for the Prius coming out in 2009.

p/s: Prius is available in Pusat Sains Negara.I saw it when I was visiting my friend who was interning there. and there's one Prius belonging to a British expat couple living in Malaysia. Guess I'll be the third one. ehehe.

Oh Prius is also good for environment. and it doesn't hurt to know that Leornado diCaprio also drives it.

Lust, Caution

My most favorite actor, Tony Leung Chiu Wai has a new movie titled Lust,Caution. I can't wait to see it and I probably will buy the dvd just as I did with the rest of his movie. He has this amazing gift to convey emotion through his eyes. All Wong Kar Wai movie would not work if it's not for him.

p/s: this movie has nudity inside it. But then again all his movie has some kind of soft nudity in it.

tagging along with seniors

Favorite breakfast:
pancakes with maple syrup and hashed brown with black coffee

The movie I’ve watched most number of:
shrek, more than 20 times i think.

Least favorite subject in school:
BM.the same like dayah. can't even make proper sentence

Spend my leisure time:
surfing the internet,read manga,read book,watch anime/drama

Worst smell:
everything that smells bad lah

If I could have any car in the world, what would it be?
i like beetle volkswagen convertible

Favorite household chore:
none. how could there be?

When I was a kid I dreamt of becoming a:
mad scientist/archeologist yg jumpa new stuff

Favorite color/s:
none

Favorite performer(s):
none

If I could repeat college I’d take:
archeologist and chinese

3 things I can’t forget before going to office:
purse,vaseline,cellphone

First thing I bought with my first salary:
I want to buy washing machine.haha

I’d like to be remembered as:
someone that makes difference

If a book was made into a movie, would you still bother to read the book?
No. I read a lot but unless the movie was really good i won't be compelled to read it.

Specialty in cooking:
curry and bagedil.haha. right ?

Present crush(es):
hmmm...no one really atm

Favorite hangout:
my home

Best place to shop:
Green hills sebab ader sephora

Do you like to watch plays?
Yes but no hamlet please

Favorite place in the house:
couch

Best gift ever received:
i'm not sure...bracelet from both people, red lipstick...

Weirdest gift ever received:
none really.

Gift that you want to receive as of this moment:
cash. haha

Who do you want to tag?
have no idea

Yahoo or Hotmail?
gmail

Left or right?
left

Black or white?
white maybe, black is good too

Black or blue pen:
Black

Sandals or shoes:
flats, heels whatever.i like everything that my foot can wear

Colgate or Happee:
crest

Chopsticks or fork and spoon:
chopsticks

Robocop or Rambo:
tak leh ker wolverine?

Jollibee or McD:
McD

Coke or Pepsi:
Pepsi

Last person you talked to:
nabilah si annoying.forcing me to listen dier menyanyi

Last person who texted you:
ali imran

Last person who made you laughed:
sonic and reza

Last time I cried:
hmmm this year in february.

You see me always drinking:
coffee

Random thoughts

I wonder if most of us know the end of this peribahasa

Patah tumbuh, hilang berganti

is this,

Bila agaknya pucuk tumbuh setinggi? Baru setanding lama?

I never actually knew that. I guess people only said what benefits them. We only hear and read or see what we want.

haha do you know me

Create your own Friend Test here

Hahahaha okay terikut nabilah buat test nie crap nie.

regardless

Even if you don't like that person but you know him on personal level,please extend your help.

"Do to other as thou wouldst they should do to thee, and do to none other but as thou wouldst be done to" as Socrates said.

We shouldn't differentiate people in the way we treat other people.

Every time you discriminate people,people are doing that to you.

another year has passed

oh well I'm finally in groovy 20.

what a good advice

read it here!

I like what my buddy wrote. Go read it or maybe bdk chem eng jer faham.

Selamat hari raya dan maaf zahir batin

To everyone,

Selamat hari raya and maaf zahir batin. I truly apologize for all the things that I said or done that may hurt your feelings in the past year.

After 4 years, it's still hard celebrating away from family. I feel better compare when I was freshman but there's always a tinge of sadness.

Having said all that, this year we're from Lewis 10 is having an open house and all my friends far and close *although only the one close can possibly make it* is welcome to the open house.

Love,

Juraiza Jais

I found something good

I was reading my most favorite column and I waited for this column for a week.It's called modern love. For the first time the story is about a Muslim woman looking for love and all the hesitation and confusion faced by her.

Close Enough To Touch Was Too Far Apart

maybe

I was talking to my sister and as usual I always learn something from her.

She read in my dad's magazine "Forgiveness comes from a strong heart" and second lesson of the day is to manage people must be done by wisdom.

Now I don't have much wisdom in me. I tend to irrational, childish,outspoken and take things for granted. I am also a pessimistic and the sort of person who is never been good with people.

But I'm learning by seconds.

I'm incapable of dealing anything else

I'm so tired these days that I can't bother to care about anything else. I think it's pathetic but what can I do if my studies consumed my time like crazy.

I don't want to apologized for being too ignorant or feigning ignorance. If you have to study until 6 am what would you feel? Would you give a damn about anything else? Not only that I have meetings,pre-lab, homework dues every class,lab report,and lab meetings. My head is spinning thinking about it.

If anyone else right now what is my best quality, I would without a doubt say I am a hardworking person. I wouldn't be in this state if I wasn't. Is it wrong for me to lazying around after working so hard if I define my relaxing time as lazying? I don't want to go out to rec or meet people or do whatever. I just want to stay home and snuggle against my favorite pillow.

I like listening to amy winehouse,"Tears dry on their own".

I'm just so stress now that I feel like throwing up, my head is reeling from the caffeine effect and I should probably go to sleep now since it's already 6.01 am.

I miss my home.I like Micheal Buble song "Home". It's an old song but I like it for right now.What I mean by old I think it was released in 2004? I heard it again in The Wedding Date.

I can't tell how much I agree with this

Read the article here

As usual I was reading NY Times and I came across this article " Re-engineering engineering" I think all engineering department need to consider this. I feel like a servant and depressed being forced to do works by engineering professor. I have no life and or basically my life revolves around homework. I'm tired of it and I dread the perspective of working as engineer.

I wish I can go to Olin College!

Lalala what could it be?

Well, the Iran president spoke in Columbia yesterday and there was uproar in new york and the media was frenzy about it.

I read the New York column mostly and I found there is certain missing points like why they hate him so much and behaving all irrationally. They're the one who invited him in the first place. If you're calling a guest only to embarrass him then shame on you.

He spoke on many aspects given the limited time. Personally I don't think we should applaud Lee Bollinger who is the president of Columbia university. I think he was rude. Cutting off this person time and asking rude and leading questions.

The media is fully divided into two right now and it shows how both side have different aspect and different way of looking it.

times's article

and here is the fully translated speech given by him by some website that i got from faisal tehrani's blog here

Currently in Vanderbilt there is issues on gay and the light has come upon muslim how they judged it.As a muslim I think it's unfair how the western judged us,muslim how we perceived homosexuals. They think us bigot for not supporting gay rights, well it's my religion requirement and I fully believed in my religion and it says that homosexual is unnatural and wrong for human nature.

The secular side of me said I am not offended by gays and lesbian and I repeat the SECULAR me. But I have religion and I think that if I'm not judging the secular view why should the secular view judged my religion view.

This argument was presented by Dawud Muhammed on the InisdeVandy.com which end the debate on it a year ago. The arguments presented by this person is highly interesting and if I have the time and means, I will scan it. The argument presented is rational,has flow and very convincing.Not to mention radical!

"let the police kill the beast"

I woke up this morning excited to see that a new blog posted by Normala which i regularly read her blog

I think everybody heard what happen to Nurin and I've been avoiding reading her news and when people told me what happen to her I just wanted to know the tidbits of its only because I can't listen to such horror that happen to merely an 8 year old kid and especially in ramadhan.That's just too cruel.

Then suddenly when I read Normala's blog I just couldn't turn away and my finger pointed to play and I started crying watching this video clip.

This whole ordeal is just impossible to watch and go through. Even a stoic imam and our prime minister cried.

Let us all have a moment of silence and think about this a bit.What kind of society have we become?

The Beautiful of Regret

I spent my Saturday afternoon watching HK movie title "And I love you so". It was really a good movie with good soundtrack and I found finally the name of a french song that I kept hearing but have no idea what it is. It's by Edith Piaf, " La Vien En Rose". You can found the lyrics here. I rather like the French version more than the English version. That's because maybe I think French sounds more romantic even if I don't know what it means. I guess that the beauty of illusion and why we all have fell in love at first sight.

Well anyway I was watching the movie and one of the main theme that kept popping up was, what if that you have this umbrella you really really like but as time pass by the weather diminish its beauty and you wish that you forget it somewhere so you don't have to throw it out and instead letting someone else do that for you?

I remember once receiving this incredibly beautiful crystal rose from someone and I kept it in a box and long after that someone gone from my life and I still haven't throw it out because I just thought it was so precious and one day accidentally somebody broke it. I gasped and of course I was mad at that person but as I collected the pieces I'm glad that it's broken and now I can part with it.

Well anyway I was thinking what does it take to get over someone? I think there's a quote somewhere that said "the best way to get over a broken heart is by falling in love" For me when you want to get over someone there need a will and it must come from yourself and even before that new person come into your life you already have this will that say I will get over this person. Not by words by action and thoughts too. Most people only say but don't mean it.

Yes it's true that you're supposed to get over it by yourself but honestly how effective is it? You won't if your eyes are keeping gazing at him unknowingly. You need someone to occupy your mind. For me it's true that I'm using this person as rebounce ball but is that wrong? I don't think so... I'm still thinking of him seriously and I believe that even though they said the pain will go away with time but if you're doing nothing with time you had then it takes longer. I'm a doer person and yes I am lazy but I believe in taking things with my hand. Doing things yourself instead of being passive and let the fate or time heal it. The latter doesn't suit me at all.

So as for me,it's not wrong letting somebody do half the job for you in order to move on. Yes it offends or rather I am annoyed when people said I don't really like him or I am masking my affection for someone else but in the end it's just me and that person who knows the best. That's enough for me.