talking like it is their business

I am seriously irritated when people start talking my stuff like their own business. The point of me telling something is not for you to chat it like is your business. It is called sharing and I expected you not to go around and talk to other people and those other people that I trust shouldn't exactly tell other people.

Haven't they exactly ever think that I don't want it to be a matter of public? My life is not public and I value privacy above all! I hate it especially the story is not confirmed yet and what if it is only true for a flit of moment? Oh my gosh I seriously hate when people are doing this. It just piss me totally.

vacationing in malaysia

phew it's the first day in malaysia. heheh just want to tell people that.

yeah I missed my flight in Hong Kong. Yep I did it again!But luckily the next flight wasn't full at all so we got on to the next flight.

Hong Kong is so pretty!!!!!!!!!!! I think I want to go there next time. It is exactly how we read in the Tai-Pan books Jana. I am already at Aberdeen and over looking the Victoria Peak. It is a totally magnificent background! With the building sky high rising towards the sky and I even saw the famous triangle building.I forgot its name though. But the sea is so blue and beautiful.

Except for the minor glitch I would definitely have a better impression on HK.

I very much like this article

young,gifted and not getting into harvard

I'm sure by now,most of my friends knows that I am an avid newspaper reader and I check the times more than once a day,I think I checked it every hour,once or twice....Yeah I am obsessed with it. It is the only constant source that I can read..

As I am taking a break from studying for my ChE final I stumbled across this article.I'm not sure if you can read it through the link since the times required people to be member to read some of the articles and so as a precaution I am posting it here too.

ON a Sunday morning a few months back, I interviewed my final Harvard applicant of the year. After saying goodbye to the girl and watching her and her mother drive off, I headed to the beach at the end of our street for a run.

It was a spectacular winter day, bright, sunny and cold; the tide was out, the waves were high, and I had the beach to myself. As I ran, I thought the same thing I do after all these interviews: Another amazing kid who won’t get into Harvard.

That used to upset me. But I’ve changed.

Over the last decade, I’ve done perhaps 40 of these interviews, which are conducted by alumni across the country. They’re my only remaining link to my alma mater; I’ve never been back to a reunion or a football game, and my total donations since graduating in the 1970s do not add up to four figures.

No matter how glowing my recommendations, in all this time only one kid, a girl, got in, many years back. I do not tell this to the eager, well-groomed seniors who settle onto the couch in our den. They’re under too much pressure already. Better than anyone, they know the odds, particularly for a kid from a New York suburb.

By the time I meet them, they’re pros at working the system. Some have Googled me because they think knowing about me will improve their odds. After the interview, many send handwritten thank-you notes saying how much they enjoyed meeting me.

Maybe it’s true.

I used to be upset by these attempts to ingratiate. Since I’ve watched my own children go through similar torture, I find these gestures touching. Everyone’s trying so hard.

My reason for doing these interviews has shifted over time. When I started, my kids were young, and I thought it might give them a little advantage when they applied to Harvard. That has turned out not to be an issue. My oldest, now a college freshman, did not apply, nor will my twins, who are both high school juniors.

We are not snubbing Harvard. Even my oldest, who is my most academic son, did not quite have the class rank or the SATs. His SAT score was probably 100 points too low — though it was identical to the SAT score that got me in 35 years ago.

Why do I continue to interview? It’s very moving meeting all these bright young people who won’t get into Harvard. Recent news articles make it sound unbearably tragic. Several Ivies, including Harvard, rejected a record number of applicants this year.

Actually, meeting the soon-to-be rejected makes me hopeful about young people. They are far more accomplished than I was at their age and without a doubt will do superbly wherever they go.

Knowing me and seeing them is like witnessing some major evolutionary change take place in just 35 years, from the Neanderthal Harvard applicant of 1970 to today’s fully evolved Homo sapiens applicant.

There was the girl who, during summer vacation, left her house before 7 each morning to make a two-hour train ride to a major university, where she worked all day doing cutting-edge research for NASA on weightlessness in mice.

When I was in high school, my 10th-grade science project was on plant tropism — a shoebox with soil and bean sprouts bending toward the light.

These kids who don’t get into Harvard spend summers on schooners in Chesapeake Bay studying marine biology, building homes for the poor in Central America, touring Europe with all-star orchestras.

Summers, I dug trenches for my local sewer department during the day, and sold hot dogs at Fenway Park at night.

As I listen to them, I can visualize their parents, striving to teach excellence. One girl I interviewed described how her father made her watch the 2004 convention speeches by both President Bush and Senator John Kerry and then tell him which she liked better and why.

What kind of kid doesn’t get into Harvard? Well, there was the charming boy I interviewed with 1560 SATs. He did cancer research in the summer; played two instruments in three orchestras; and composed his own music. He redid the computer system for his student paper, loved to cook and was writing his own cookbook. One of his specialties was snapper poached in tea and served with noodle cake.

At his age, when I got hungry, I made myself peanut butter and jam on white bread and got into Harvard.

Some take 10 AP courses and get top scores of 5 on all of them.

I took one AP course and scored 3.

Of course, evolution is not the same as progress. These kids have an AP history textbook that has been specially created to match the content of the AP test, as well as review books and tutors for those tests. We had no AP textbook; many of our readings came from primary documents, and there was no Princeton Review then. I was never tutored in anything and walked into the SATs without having seen a sample SAT question.

As for my bean sprouts project, as bad it was, I did it alone. I interview kids who describe how their schools provide a statistician to analyze their science project data.

I see these kids — and watch my own applying to college — and as evolved as they are, I wouldn’t change places with them for anything. They’re under such pressure.

I used to say goodbye at my door, but since my own kids reached this age, I walk them out to their cars, where a parent waits. I always say the same thing to the mom or dad: “You’ve done a wonderful job — you should be very proud.” And I mean it.

But I’ve stopped feeling bad about the looming rejection. When my four were little, I used to hope a couple might go to Harvard. I pushed them, but by the end of middle school it was clear my twins, at least, were not made that way. They rebelled, and I had to learn to see who they were.

I came to understand that my own focus on Harvard was a matter of not sophistication but narrowness. I grew up in an unworldly blue-collar environment. Getting perfect grades and attending an elite college was one of the few ways up I could see.

My four have been raised in an upper-middle-class world. They look around and see lots of avenues to success. My wife’s two brothers struggled as students at mainstream colleges and both have made wonderful full lives, one as a salesman, the other as a builder. Each found his own best path. Each knows excellence.

That day, running on the beach, I was lost in my thoughts when a voice startled me. “Pops, hey, Pops!” It was Sammy, one of my twins, who’s probably heading for a good state school. He was in his wetsuit, surfing alone in the 30-degree weather, the only other person on the beach. “What a day!” he yelled, and his joy filled my heart.



Well I hope it's not that long of an article...I was touched by this article simply because from a parent point of view who wishes us to be the most successful person on earth and be happy in lives.

Yes parents have expectations and sometimes I know when my mom look at me,she was thinking you don't have to do this but I want to do it and that is why I am doing it.I don't have to say anything more I think..I just wanted to convey that our parents wish us to be happy in whatever we do and even if they sometimes doesn't show,they support us the whole way and they wanted us to be happy and sometimes I think they wondered why are we trying so hard in life?

P/S: I love my parents. I think they are absolutely smashing the best parents in the whole universe.
P.P.S: By that I am not saying other people's parents is not the best too. Just that I like my parents more. Does that makes sense? Oh well....

Just so random thoughts

You know I was watching Min and Nabilah playing piano and they aren't very good at piano yet but we talk about how when we listened to piano and our emotion is being picked like a string. Making you feel sad and happy along with the music. It elevates you to a whole truly different dimension and sometimes when I want to fall asleep I'll play some short piano music and yes again I am listening to Yoshiki's Without you and I can feel the sense of loss in it... and yes I almost cry myself to sleep.Hehehe

Oh yeah I'll have my final next week and wish me luck and I am going back to malaysia on May 6 after that. Hehehehe.

Currently listening to X Japan,accurately Yoshiki

Haha I know it's a shock me listening to a visual kei band from Japan but really they are the greatest ever. L arc en ciel is good to and Hyde is especially awesome but X japan especially yoshiki with his brilliance in playing piano and drum at the same time is just unbeatable.

So X japan was formed in 1976 with the original founder is Yoshiki and his bestfriend Toshi. They were later joined by Hide,Pata and Heath. Together they were the greatest ever band in Japan and yes they beat my cute bunny Johhny boys.They write the greatest rock ballad ever such Tears. Tears was written by Yoshiki in loving memory of his father who commits suicide when he was 10. This is yoshiki myspace pageand pick tears unreleased version. Currently I am listening to Forever Love which was performed on Hide funeral which makes 10x sadder and sentimental and Tears. They are just very very excellent songs and so deep that I can feel the pain.Haha I am exaggerating but really....

and this is Tears in case anybody is lazy to go to myspace to listen to it.



and this is the translation

doko ni yukeba ii
anata to hanarete
ima wa sugisatta
toki ni toikakete

naga sugita yoru ni
tabidachi o yume mita
ikoku no sora mitsumete
kodoku o dakishimeta

nagareru namida o
toki no kaze ni kasanete
owaranai anata no
toiki o kanjite

DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

LONELINESS YOUR SILENT WHISPER
FILLS A RIVER OF TEARS THROUGH THE NIGHT
MEMORY YOU NEVER LET ME CRY
AND YOU, YOU NEVER SAID GOOD-BYE
SOMETIMES OUR TEARS BLINDED THE LOVE
WE LOST OUR DREAMS ALONG THE WAY
BUT I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D TRADE YOUR SOUL TO
THE FATES
NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D LEAVE ME ALONE

TIME THROUGH THE RAIN HAS SET ME FREE
SANDS OF TIME WILL KEEP YOUR MEMORY
LOVE EVERLASTING FADES AWAY
ALIVE WITHIN YOUR BEATLESS HEART

DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

nagareru namida o
toki no kaze ni kasanete
owaranai kanashimi o
aoi bara ni kaete
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

nagareru namida o toki no kaze ni kasanete
owaranai anata no toiki o kanjite
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

hehe

Yeah did you noticed it? I have a new blog layout.Why? Because I have been using the old one for god how many long until that I can't remember.Plus the yellow one has a much bigger text space. I like writing a lot so I think it gave me headache when the font is small and all crammed up in one space.

Beside I am no longer heartbroken or wish to be. hehe and so the yellowness of this fits the mood perfectly and also the song. hehehe.

Thanks kak min for giving me your new link and i just read your blog just now too.hehe. Yeah there a bunch of friends link that I need to update.some of them no longer update their blog and makes me think should i just throw it away but i love them... so i can't do that. and for the new freshman who i am surprise have a bunch of blogs. I too need to copy their link and add it to friends link. I 'll do that in sometimes later in the summer or whatever.

Another things is I got my plane tickets today! Yay!我很高兴 which pronouced wo hen gaoxing. I am very happy.

Should I teach how to read the dates and time on my blog since I changed the language of it to chinese? Hurm....I'm not much of an explainer though...

2007年4月18日 星期三

2007年，the 年(nian)means year
4月，月(yue) means months so this means the fourth months
18日，日 (ri) means day.
and finally 星期 (shengri) means days and by adding number at the end such
as the ex above. 星期三 means wednesday because 三 means 3 so third day
is what it means

一，二，三，四，五，六，七，八，九,十，零
yi,er,san,si,wu,liu,qi,ba,jiu,shi,ling
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,0

Forever Love

This is a song from x-japan called forever love. I knew this band from Normala who I have been reading her blog faithfully in myspace. She was the one who introduced me to x-japan. This song was performed on the last ever live,tv performance,last everything of x-japan and after that hide died and so yeap I very much like this song. The sound of it is sad and the meaning is even sadder. So here I am posting the translation of it.

I'll never walk alone again, the winds of time are to strong.
Ah, it's that what you hurts, which you'll have to live with...
Ah, this tight embrace, and this burning, unchanged heart.
In this ever changing time, love will never change.

Will you hold my heart? Stop flowing tears.
Again, all of my heart is broken....

Forever love, forever dream
Only flowing emotions,bury this intense,
trying, meaningless times.
Oh tell me why ... all I see is blue in my heart.

Will you stay with me? Wait until after the wind passes,
all my tears are still flowing...

Forever love, forever dream Stay with me like this.
Hold my trembling heart in the dawn.
Oh stay with me...

Ah, everything good seems to be ending,
in this unending night.
Ah, what else would you lose if nothing at all matters.

Forever love, forever dream, stay with me like this.
Hold my trembling heart in the dawn.

Oh will you stay with me... Until the wind passes,
stay with me again.

Forever love, forever dream, I'll never walk this path.
Oh tell me why, tell me true, teach me how to live.
Forever love, forever dream, within flowing tears
Bright seasons will forever change again and again ....
forever love...

when 2 people start talking

I was chatting with my friend today and we talk about our current non existent love life.

me:yeap i know liking somebody is crappy but it's fun you know.
her: how is it fun? i don't get it
me: well your heart skip a beat and it's fun to go to class and see if you bump into him
her: it's just awkward for me lah.
me:well yeah there's that too.
her: ey you said you're gonna tell me something
me: ooh yeah about that... well doesn't work out.it doesn't matter anyway.
her: hahaha. yeah right doesn't matter.
me: :p
her: well life is unexpected. you can't be with somebody you like.
me: touche.
her: true what..
me: I was browsing love quotes when I read something written by picasso or some british guy. "To not love is to not live,to not exist and not bla2". U know the crap right?
her: Hahaha. Well to be in love is to be in constant state of pain,unsure,and bla2.
me: hahaaha. both are true so which part of the statement are we in again?
her: Is there middle ground?
me: heh hanging in the air? should listen to the song hanging by the moment again..

Yes so this is what my friend and I come up with talking in ym. We always talk super crappy things that doesn't make any sense at all. I thought the conversation is enlightening.I don't know...but I just thought what a dilemma I'm in.

What a surprise!

I open msavonline with no reason at all and look what I found! Sala's wedding card. He's getting married on July 2 and I can go because it is in Melaka. This is so exciting. Can't wait to go to the wedding.

It is the first time I am going to a friend's wedding and I can see Weda again!

The universe conspires with you

Have you ever read that quotes? It comes from The Alchemist. If you want something really bad the universe conspires with you. I guess I didn't want it really bad. I have no regrets on it anyway. I am happy with the way things are.

I am going tell something. I met him today and my heart didn't skip a beat and as I walk I smiled.It's no longer there. Good news right?

Right now I want to pursue something more tangible. On the other hand I think the universe conspires with me on this matters.

Somebody birthday is on May 11 and I might want to do something..it's been a few years now.

A weekend filled with Chem Engineers

I went to a chemical engineering conference hosted by university of south carolina. It was held by American Institute of Chemical Engineering(AIChE. We drove all the way and Professor Guelcher was the one who drove. He will be my professor in Kinetics next year.It was a fun trip and the car was spacious. It was a 7 hours journey and it was the first time that I was on a trip without listening to music.

We got there when the bbq are starting and the food was so-so.The band was horrible with the lead singer all wrapped up in chicken feather and it was so bad that we were all laughing. They got the wrong crowd. It's all engineer and no one was interested in sticking their tongue out. After that we went back to hotel and ordered the best ever chinese food I ever ate in the States. The best was in Msia right behind my convent school. Yep the best breakfast I ever eat.Cheap and delicious but that is a different story. The hotel was superb. It has the best bed I ever sleep in. The comforter is so fluffy and the pillow is so soft that my painful back feels so good.

The next day we woke at unearth hour and was ready to go to conference at 8am. That was crazy and we listened to chem eng paper for a few hours. That was just nuts. It was interesting but nonetheless scientific that it will bore you to death. But it all makes sense. All of us got pretty much bored after a few hours and went outside to take pictures.

But you know we're a pretty good judge, the first guy of the day won the best paper award and the spirit award. He is a good presenter.

After looking at the graduate/career fair we decided to wander off at the campus and not listen to the guess speaker. We did the correct decision since Yasmine later told us that the speaker wasn't that all good.

The campus is beautiful and clean and so spread out and gosh! they have so many space.I mean they have cheesecake factory and starbucks inside a bookstore.Of course I bought a drink.Hehehee. They have a pond in front of their library and whatever statues and their theater is like a roman building. We were all suckers for good scenery and Nabilah and I did a dating sequent in front of the library pretending like in Hindustan movie with Raihan in the occasional picture. It was stupid but boy it was fun!

and finally this is my favorite pic of day.Have no peculiar reason but I just like the mood of the picture

Lacking every bits...

I am sitting here in my che lab all stressed out from the lack of sleep and the future lack of sleep. I am so tired.. and hungry too. I barely can stand up and do the lab. There are so many things due. Just got back from conference in South Carolina. I like it and even thinking of going to it next year.

Going to conference is tiring because we have to wake up early at 6am and it lasts till 10pm. I'm not feeling that well to tell what happens.Maybe next time when I have enough glucose in my body.

I just want to tell that I got an internship already in malaysia.It is a chemical company that makes medical barrier protection stuff. Honestly I can't believed that I am going into such field and thinking about interns makes me think what is the concept of work? There is also feeling of insecurity. What if I can't perform well? I want to do well so that I have a job offer before I graduate.

I am thinking that if I can't impressed people with my pointer than I better have backup such as internship and speaking a third language that is famous now which is Mandarin. I guess I calculates things well. Everything in position.

On a side note, while doing the internship maybe I'll find a new bf as well? Hehehe. Catching 2 birds with one stone I supposed. Can't wait for the summer to begins. I wonder what it will bring.

Ana

this is atie and ana.ana is sitting on the right side and the left is her older sister atie.ana has the same birthday as me and yep we have the same preference on everything!Like we both really like kuah lemak and when i was kid i would not eat the dark part of fish and prefer seafood compare to poultry and we both love potatoes cooked in any way.

I babysit these kids whenever I am home. Ana love micheal buble and this I know because whenever I played Micheal Buble cd at home she will stop crying and shut up and stop bothering me and just go to sleep. So that is a sign that she likes it right? Such a weird taste in a kid but ana is eccentric.

So in regards to Ana, this is a Micheal Buble song titled "That's all"

quitting

How do you quit something? I mean we have been trained to be not a quitter all our life?

How do I quit caffeine,reading manga, watching drama and things like thing. More importantly how can I quit...

I always thought that with enough will and determination there is nothing I can't do. Should I try it again?

Pity

I do think the worst thing is pity(with the exception pitying war victim and such). I mean for example after all the news about the girl who going to get 19a1 and with utusan publishing news that is misleading and carelessly made the girl thinking that she got 19a1 for a few days. I will be embarrassed after my town put my pictures around,the national papers, stating that i want to publish books, damn all the humiliation. If you go to scholarship interviews,I think everyone will recognized you and silently feeling sorry for you.

I do hate listening to people saying that people who went to girls/ boys school does not fully experienced school live. How could you said that when you never been to such school? Honestly I think the best thing ever happened to me was that I went to all girls school. Yes it get tedious after awhile(8 years) but I still think that without it I don't become the person I am today.

Admit it, that most single sex school has the best culture mixed together. Plus nowhere in any school provides swimming,ballet,gymnastic, piano lesson,mandarin class and so much more as extra curricular activity. You don't get Easter day holiday or chap goh meh holiday in other school. You don't get to wear shorts during PE.

Plus it teaches you feminine empowerment. Woman can do anything and just as good as man. Girl will be a better woman. My headmistress put this idea in our minds since young. That our school will be the best school and proving that woman can indeed be smarter than men given chances. Don't you think that girl from girls school are usually the more pursued,the more irresistible?Hahaha I am exaggerating but what the heck.

Honestly,if given choice I would send my niece to girls school. My mom did a good job by sending all of us to single sex school. I just think it is a better environment to learn and heck it was proved in research that when they separates the sexes they tend to do better. Generally the best daily school in Malaysia is not co-ed, it's single sex. Even by states, St. John, VI, BBGS, CBN, my school the top three school in Malacca,Infant Jesus Convent, only beaten by High School Malacca which is an all boys school and followed by Malacca girls school.

Well that all I am venting about my dissatisfaction.

Spring Break 2007

You know even though I am girl guide for 7 years I am totally clueless about camping and stuff like that. Sure I know how to tie a knot in like what 25 ways? but camping and outdoor is just isn't my strong point.

When Lan suggest that we all went camping I was just playing along without ever thinking that I will actually go.After a few qualms between us about going camping we finally did go. It was fun you know and the first night was pretty stupid and of course all of us who never went camping have no idea what awaits us. It was very cold the first night and I think it is below 4 celcius because our breath start forming.. It was very hard to sleep and I think I was the only one who managed to sleep.Heheheh.

The second day went so much better because we learn that in order to maintain the fire we need to buy firewood which we bought and yes finally some warmth! We went fishing on that day and the place was beautiful. It was sitting on Cumberland plateau and it basically a lake with swans occasionally swimming in it.I love it very much.Daia and I at first want to row boat but it only opens in the summer. Daia resort to fishing and I went ahead with reading my latest book while eating sonic's chips.*aiya sonic don't know how to spell the chips. tojitos?* Most of the time I sleep and to me it is perfect. We caught 3 fishes. 2 trouts and 1 bass

Lan can't quit complaining how cold it is and can't wait to go back to vandy and I was thinking yep this guy definitely need the comfort of home,laptop and electricity. Not to say I didn't complained how cold it is but yeah the next time Lan go anywhere it better have facility and not cold!

Conclusion is I love going with these guys, daia,sonic ,hisyam and lan and if it wasn't for them I don't think I have a great spring vacation.It is something that I will treasure the most.

p/s: It is lan birthday today and let us all wish him a warm "Happy Birthday"

Uninspired

Ah been a long time since i updates anything.Currently on spring break and not inspired by anything to write anything.

P/S: Changing the song to 'Put Your Records On' by Corrine Bailey Rae . An upbeat tempo suitable for current situation.

Infernal Affairs

As predicted The Departed won the best picture and for that I am happy because it proof that asian movie are just as good as Hollywood.But I am sorely disappointed when they say that the Departed is an adaption of a Japanese movie which is wrong.It is from Hong Kong and one of the few movie that is my favorite titled "Infernal Affair"

I think I already talk about this movie but you know what.That movie change my life and maybe because it closely resemble myself. I was in awe of that movie. It doesn't matter whether it was the first time I watched or the hundredth time.It still capture me as it was the first time I saw it.It was the most brilliant movie and I instantly become a fan of wong kar wai. I even bought the dvd which is rare for me.

The pure sadness reflected in tony leung eyes and the intricate fragile of human emotion and the beautiful yet sad background music will surely entrance everyone heart and mind.

Shoujo manga

I'm telling you I am addicted to shoujo manga.How could a girl settle for less when there's story even though not real that is so compelling and plus gorgeous guys!

Currently I like reading Bride of the Water God. Hahhaa that is the pic from that manga.

we all need a little romance. *winking*

Last night I went to movie to see music and lyrics and it didn't dissapoint me.It's been way to long since I saw Hugh Grant movie.I enjoyed it immensely.Drew Barrymore did a very good job.Not to mention the song are catchy and when I come back I instantly downloaded both song.

Well I know the review for the movie isn't that great and it isn't that kind of deep movie but it is sweet. And I like that kind of movie the most.It wasn't striving to be deep endless love. The combination between Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore is weird at first but since both are self-deprecating sort of people and klutzy and clumsy it just goes so well

The movie is basically about an 80's po,Alex that can't write song and basically are fading into background and in order to rebound he needs to write a song "Way back into love" for a famous pop artist.Along the way Drew who work for him who is a natural lyricist started writing a song together.

And of course they all have bad love history and of course they get reunited at the end. Watch the movie if you want something light and easy.With that I leave you the video "way back into love"

p/s: and seri pun suka citer nie!!!!!!!!!!