i need you

I anticipated episode 26 Nana anime. and phew it didn't disappointed me at all. I almost cried in this episode when Nana called Hachi and said she can't be home because the guy from record company are treating them to dinner and Nana said tomorrow she will be coming in the morning and Hachi said she will not be there since she is working but then abruptly Nana asked for Misato-chan . Hachi then start her own melancholic scene where she go on saying,"Eh Nana what about me? what about me?Naturally Misato-chan(Nana big fan) who come all the way to Tokyo is more important than me,Naturally Kawano(guy from record company) who is treating them to dinner is more important than our promise,Naturally Nana prefer living with Ren than me. I know that well...But that is the case.. Does it mean that she doesn't need me?" Then Nana comes home in the middle of the night and when she opened the fridge there's like humongous of food and she asked Misato-chan."Honestly Nana, Hachi thought you might all gather here after the live and she prepared the food before Misato arrived" And then Nana flashed back to their conversation
Nana: Don't tell me you already prepared food?
Hachi: No I haven't start it yet.

Nana feels so guilty about it. But the point is in our life there is too many times it happens like. I don't like to think myself are important to other people. Truthfully I never expected anyone to remember my name or my story or anything.I don't think I am precious to anyone.I remembered when my bf had a busy work schedule and I used think " It alright, work are important than me. Next time I'll tell him about my day" and soon we were driven apart by this silence. It doesn't matter how I feel, I always think that he is more important than me and after awhile I think I'm not important anymore and I should let him go have his life than be unhappy with me. Even with my friends and my family I let myself do that. It does not matter with me.I'm sure they would be happier without me. I'll be here waiting when they need me.Do I ever try to change? Hurm I don't think I ever try. So some people said to me "You should grab the chance to be happy" and I think " Should I? Maybe some people need it more than I am." I wanted to but I'm to afraid to grab it for myself. I can't see myself being so important to other people. I am afraid I'll let people down. I'm afraid that I am not a good daughter,I am not a good friend, I am not a good student.I am afraid of letting people down. I am a people pleaser. I do hope one day I have enough courage to get it for myself and not afraid of falling down.....