i was just thinking

Phew this week is so tiring. I was supposed to have 3 exam, chem eng,pchem and chinese.Luckily my laoshi cancel because she think that we haven't covered all base yet and so the exam is postponed to monday. Yippee! Wo ai ni laoshi. Which means i can study chinese on weekend and get 100 maybe? hehe lucky me if that happens. I love my chinese. It's like I got a headache just from sitting in pchem class and when i go to chinese all the headache is gone and my head feels lighter without me pulling my hair off trying to get my brain to relax.

Did you notice? I changed my skin again.hehe.well i like the rainbow skin. It's happier. The song contradicts the mood of the skin.Rainbow and mournful song from snow patrol title "set fire to the third bar". Well the background itself is black which in a way compliment the song. I love contradiction anyway.

Well i was reading my ex blogs and he wrote something that i just agree with him.You know how recently that to help anything they did a concert like rock for darfur or rock the world or whatever.I know everytime they say a portion of it goes to the cause but really how much after you pay for all of these? And he said why can't we just help people? why do we need to be entertain before helping. He said the next time i am going to help old lady carrying heavy load up the stair should i demand that she sing before i help her?I am touched by his post because as reality sets in that is the way society is nowdays. We won't help anyone if we don't get anything in return. Really is that the way we want our next generation to grow up? To be cunning?

Well anyway it is official that I am going to california this winter. LA and SF here I come!

Second question that has been bothering me that usually proposed by sonic because i usually take things for granted just like that. Why your ex like you. Have you ever think of that? As for me i always think... why wouldn't anyone like me? *yeah i sound self centred*I don't know why my ex likes me which is a pity since after all the years i spend obviously i should know the answer. You think if i ask him now he's going to tell me? It might be awkard.... though....

Third question: would somebody be envy of me? I don't know... Maybe somebody is....but if you are jealous of me... can you take all the emotional baggage i have and be sane?I wouldn't want anyone be jealous with what I have.I am glad for the person I am today and wouldn't want anything different. I love being me even though I am loud,short,obnoxious,self-centred but I am also kind,accepting,fun,and a rational person. And sonic ask me would i be envious of somebody...Sure I do that sometimes but not with the personality...other person personality just doesn't fit with me....Sure when i am feeling a little bit down or lonely...I wish I have that person but I realized that I have friends and life is going to be good and I am jealous of a person who have a relationship just because they have 1 person that they could tell anything but I am not jealous of the work load that they have to make it work. But then again i they can't tell everything to that person.. that would be a waste right?

Come to think of it..Do i tell everything to my bf? Hurm..I believe that some things should just be kept a secret and having secrets make you younger and mysterious.It's not so fun to be so easy to figure out. You think you know me, guess what? You're wrong. I have different parts of me that you never realized I have. Whether you are going to see it or not...is entirely different matter...