the most unimaginable thing just happened

i am cordially invited to become one of the facilitator in my mrsm kkb camp project. it is a charity sorts of work. bloody hell. what am i supposed to do? be one of those goody2 seniors? it's been a long time since i woke up at 6 am. hell am i supposed to take a cold shower? after all this hot and luxurious shower? and they told me i was supposed to go to qiam? you don't understand. i never went to qiam before. not even once. not even while i was in back kkb. shit.hahhaa.i was supposed to wake up at 4am but i never did ever successfully did that. i don't want to be a fake when i become a facilitator and pretend i went. maybe i should just tell a white lie.never hurts rights? i don't want to pretend that i am all goody girl. well i am but to go to this far extereme is just not a possible choice. what else? and there is this groupie things that i am supposed to do. blimey i am not prepped to do that. i need somebody who can handle it better. i mean i can laugh and makes so stupid jokes but to actually conduct something like this is too far fetched for me. i am supposed to tell how did i study for my spm. i never really realised i was this extra working hard crazy girl. i never did. i know i go hungry studying but that is only because i was too lazy to go to dinner or eat. fuck it people. how can i pretend? damn it. all part of my sentences is now full of curse word. crap. i am totally not the typical faciliatator. i am totally going to wreck it.